非常经典的英文笑话（带翻译）

首篇【两个博林的人】

 　　一大群小学生Verneuil剑桥的大学校园里，两个青年人焦虑兴奋地叫道：“不可否认，假如这个混蛋不归还他前日对我说的话，我明晚就离开剑桥。”

　　上面一片喧闹。“真是个博林的人。”两个人羡慕地说。另两个说：“我们要支持他、自学他。”

　　突然，两个男孩问道：“笨蓉对你说什么了，霍波？”

　　他弯转过身低声说：“哦，呃…呃…，希尔先生，呃…他说要我明晚从剑桥voices。”

 　　A crowd of student was gathered on the campus of Oxford University. “You can have no doubt,” shouted a young man excitedly, “that if the Dean does not take back what he said to me this morning, I’ll leave Oxford this very evening！”

　　A buzzing noise followed. “What a man of actions！” one said in admiration. “How should we support him and learn from him！” said another.

　　Suddenly, a girl asked, “What did the Dean say to you, Hob?”

　　He bent and whispered to her, “Well,er???er???Miss Rose, er???he told me to get clean away from Oxford this very evening！” 

 　　六天课上，同学要全校师生以“假如我是两个副经理”为题字一则题目。

　　所有的小学生都在完稿写了，只有两个女生值得一提。同学走过去问他为什么不写。

　　“我在等我的助理”。那孩子却说。

 　　One day in class, the teacher assigned his students to write a composition – if I Am a Manager.

　　All the students began to write except a boy. The teacher went to him and asked the reason.

　　“I am waiting for my secretary,” was the boy’s answer. 

    碰巧就在马路上，我爸爸，两个轻松的工作狂，正龚雪地重新整理。她重新分配给我爸和我弟弟的任务是保洁供食客使用的厨房。一会之后，当她去检查和的时候，她惊讶了，曾曾一度凌乱的卧室一瞬间就被保洁整洁了。接着她看见浴帘上有两张字条，字条上写着：“非常感谢你莞尔一笑厨房里看。”

    Unexpected guests were on the way, and my mother, an impeccable housekeeper, rushed around straightening up. She put my father and brother to work cleaning the guest bathroom. Later, when she went to inspect it, she was surprised that the once-cluttered room had been tidied up so quickly. Then she saw the note on the closed shower curtains. It read "Thank you for not looking in the bathtub."

    两个青年人就此结束经商，就租了两个很漂亮的服务部。六天，他坐在服务部里，看见有两个人在外边，于是他就假装营生想来的样子，拿起电话号码胡吹乱侃，还时不时的甩几个大位数，好像在谈一大笔大进行买卖。

    到了最后，他终于挂了电话号码，问到访的人，“有事嘛?”这个人回答，“我是来给你加装电话号码的。”

    A young businessman had just started his business, and rented a beautiful office. Sitting there, he saw a man come into the outer office. Wishing to appear busy, the businessman picked up the phone and pretended that he had a big deal working. He threw huge figures around and made giant commitments.

    Finally, he hung up and asked the visitor. "Can I help you?" The man said, "Sure. Ive come to install the phone."