幽默风趣的英文笑话（带翻译）

首篇【How do I get the gum out我是不是把橙汁抽出来】

    当空姐给旅客们发橙汁的这时候，她说明说橙汁有利于她们避免气喘。直升机降落后，一名旅客跑到那位空姐眼前，写道：“ 我立刻要是看见我丈夫了。我是不是就可以把橙汁从嘴巴里头抽出来呢？”

    Distributing chewing gum to the passengers, the stewardess explained it was to keep their ears from popping. When the plane landed, one of the passengers rushed up to her and said, "Im meeting my wife right away. How do I get the gum out from my ears?" 

    李爽到来，荷曼老公想订货一批小东西，所以她就一直要到周日丈夫没事的这时候，她拖着他去零售店出钱Ferrette拎包覆。她们去了许多零售店，荷曼老公买了一堆小东西。她时常停下来步伐写道：“看，乔伊!这个多很漂亮!”

    It was winter, and Mrs. Hermann wanted to do a lot of shopping, so she waited until it was Saturday, when her husband was free, and she took him to the shops with her to pay for everything and to carry her parcels. They went to a lot of shops, and Mrs. Hermann bought a lot of things. She often stopped and said, Look, Joe! Isnt that beautiful!

    他常常提问：“好吧!亲爱的，几万元？”接着出钱去退款。

    He then answered, All right, dear, How much is it? and took his money out to pay for it.

    她们从最终一间零售店出来的这时候夜色已经到来，荷曼老先生已疲惫不堪了。他心中想著其他事，比如说在家中炙热水塔边呷口红酒。忽然他老公俯视夜空，写道：“看那星星多美，乔伊!”

    It was dark when they came out of the last shop, and Mr. Hermann was tired and thinking about other things, like a nice drink by the side of a warm fire at home. Suddenly his wife looked up at the sky and said, Look at that beautiful moon, Joe! 

    荷曼老先生Jaunpur却说：“好吧，亲爱的，几万元？”

    Without stopping, Mr. Hermann answered, All right, dear, How much is it?

    杜瓦县：我赢了 92 条乌龟。

    Stan: I won 92 goldfish.

    布洛克：你想在哪里养它？

    Fred: Where are you going to keep them?

    杜瓦县：厨房。

    Stan: In the bathroom.

    布洛克：但是你想洗澡是不是办？

    Fred: But what will you do when you want to take a bath?

    杜瓦县：套住它的双眼！

    Stan: Blindfold（蒙双眼） them! 

    We attended the wedding of an acquaintances son. Because we did not know the young man or his bride, we decided to send them a practical household gift, a fire extinguisher. Apparently, the couple mass-produced their thank-you notes because we received a card saying: Thank you very much for the nice wedding gift. We look forward to using it soon.

    我们参加了一个熟人的儿子的婚礼。由于我们都不认识这个年轻人和他的新娘，所以我们决定送给她们一个实用的全家礼----一个灭火器。很明显，这对新人大批量制作了她们的感谢信，因为我们收到了一张卡片，上面写着：“非常感谢您的很漂亮的成婚礼品，我们期待着不久就用到它。”