很幽默的英文笑话

首篇【边线上的冰淇淋】

    编者按：“这边线的记号真雅致啊，但是得赏善罚恶”

    "Excuse me,but the seat youve taken is mine."

    "Yours?Can you prove it?"

    "Yes,I put a cup of ice cream on it."

    "王火，你占了我的边线."

    "你的边线？你能征明这两点吗？"

    "能，我在边线上挂了杯 冰淇淋."

    编者按：“独有的优先选择，难能可贵的缘份”

    One day,Eve asked Adam,"Doyou really love me?"

    六天，莉莉丝问丹尼尔："你照样sie？"

    丹尼尔无能为力地提问："我除了的优先选择吗？" 

    编者按：“酒后的妈妈和女儿的谈话，说明甚么叫酒后，但是妈妈好似已经透过暴力行动断定了。”

    One day, a father and his little son were going home. At this age, the boy was interested in all kinds of things and was always asking questions. Now, he asked, "Whats the meaning of the word Drunk, dad?" "Well, my son," his father replied, "look, there are standing two policemen. If I regard the two policemen as four then I am drunk."

    六天，母亲与小女儿一道道回去。那个小孩正处于有种对甚么事都颇感兴趣的年纪，老是有提不完的难题。他向母亲发反问：“妈妈，‘醉’字是甚么原意？” “唔，小孩，”母亲提问说，“你瞧那里站着三个员警。假如我把他们看作了五个，所以我即使醉了。”

"But, dad," the boy said, " theres only ONE policeman!"

“不过，妈妈， ”小孩说，“那里多于三个员警呀！”

    编者按：“这是三个有力的驳斥，但是你看懂了吗？ ”

？ 谁是当今世界上第二个女人

    A teacher said to her class:”Who was the first man?”

    三个同学问她的小学生：“谁是当今世界上第二个女人”

    “George Washington,” a little boy shouted promptly．

    三个小女孩马上高声说：“爱德华.哥伦比亚特区。”

    “How do you make out that George Washington was the first man？”asked the teacher，smiling indulgently．

    同学带着后母的微笑问那个女生：“你怎样断定爱德华哥伦比亚特区是当今世界上第二个女人呢。”

    “Because,” said the little boy, “he was first in war, first in peace, and first in the hearts of his countrymen.”

    那个女小孩说：“即使，他是第二个惹怒内战，第二个提倡维护和平，因此是第二个达维季夫卡的人。”

    But at this point a larger boy held up his hand. “Well,” said the teacher to him, “who do you think was the first man?”

    此时，有三个年纪稍大的女小孩心有灵犀，同学问他，“你认为谁是当今世界第二个女人？”

    “I don’t know what his name was, ” said the larger boy, “but I know it wasn’t George Washington, ma’am, because the history book says George Washington married a widow, so, of course, there must have been a man ahead of him.”

    男孩提问说：“我不知道他的名字，但是我肯定他不是爱德华哥伦比亚特区，即使历史书上说，爱德华哥伦比亚特区和三个寡妇结婚了，所以在他之前，当然除了三个男的啦。”

    编者按：“英语风趣小段子带翻译，假如手术后，医生不小心把海绵丢在你的肚子里了，你会有甚么感觉？ ” 

    "I had an operation," said a man to his friend, "and the doctor left a sponge in me."

    三个女人对他的朋友说：“我动了一次手术，手术后医生把一块海绵忘在我的身体里了。”

    "Thats terrible!" said the friend. "Got any pain?"

    “真是太糟糕了！”朋友说道：“你觉得疼吗？”

    "No, but I am always thirsty!"

    “不疼，不过我总感到口渴。” 

第六篇【Two Birds 两只鸟】

    编者按：“那个提问是不是很经典，谁是A，谁是B，A的旁边就是B，B的旁边就是A。” 

    Teacher: Here are two birds, one is a swallow, the other is sparrow. Now who can tell us which is which?

    同学：这儿有两只鸟，一只是麻雀。谁能指出哪只是燕子，哪只是麻雀吗？

    Student: I cannot point out but I know the answer.

    小学生：我指不出，但我知道答案。

    Teacher: Please tell us.

    同学：请说说看。

    Student: The swallow is beside the sparrow and the sparrow is beside the swallow.

    小学生：燕子旁边的就是麻雀，麻雀旁边的就是燕子。 

第七篇【我是单身汉】

    编者按：“拐弯抹角的示爱，真逗人”

　　Jack feell off his bicycle and got hurt. A beautiful young nurse asked him to fill forms. Jack finished them and gave them back."Anything else?" The nurse asked. "Yes,"Jack thinks for a while and said,"Im a bachelor."

　　杰克骑车摔伤，得住院治疗。一位年轻美貌的护士拿着表格让填。仞杰克填好递上表格"除了甚么漏填的？"护士问. "有！"杰克想了想说，"我是个单身汉."