【Only when hes DRUNK他而已在酒醉的这时候才这种】
A man is driving with his wife, when he is pulled over by a policeman. "Sir, " says the cop. "You ， were going 60 in a 50." "No, I wasnt. "Yes, you were," says the wife. "Keep quiet!"says the man, angrily. "And you weret wearing a seat belt, "says the cop."Yes, l was." "No,you werent，says the wife."SHUT UPln says the man, really angry."Maam, asks the cop,is he always rude and violent?Only when hes DRUNK．"
有位女人坐车，车上Tiruvanamalai他老公。一名员警让他停在马马路上，对他说：“老先生，你在速度限制50的马路上开600"”我没。“他老公说：”你是开所以快。“女人恼怒蔡伯介：”发飙！”员警说：“你还没系安全气囊。”我系了。"他老公说：“你是没系。女人十分恼怒蔡伯介：”发飙！”员警问：“侄女，他一直是所以轻蔑和残暴吗？”他而已在酒醉的这时候才这种。“
∕ 【That record will stand forever那个历史纪录总有一天不能被冲破了】Back at my high school for the tenth reunion, I met my old coach. Walking through the gym, we came upon a plaque on which l was still listed as the record holder for the longest softball throw. Noticing my surprise, the coach said, "That record will stand forever."I was about to make some modest disclaimer that records exist to be broken, when he added, "We stopped holding that event years ago."
大学毕业二十年之后，我TNUMBERGC团圆，遇到从前的总教练。他们跨过体育中心的这时候，看见几块匾额，下面刻着我的英文名字，我依然是水球丢掷量远历史纪录金牌得主。注意到我的讶异，老总教练说：那个历史纪录总有一天不能被冲破了。当我刚想谦逊几句话说历史纪录的存有就是为的是被冲破时，他补足说：“他们一两年前就中止此项赛事了。”
∕ 【Pushed the wrong button按错了按键】Flying through the Midwest in the summertime means one thing: turbulence. Just after a teenager girl had entered the bathroom,we hit a patch of very rough air. After the bumps had subsided, she exited the bathroom, a look of sheer terror etched on her face. "Are you all right?" l asked. "That turbulence was so bad.""So thats what it was,”she said."I thought ld pushed the wrong button."
冬季在美国西部滑翔就意味著两件事：湍流。圣沙普的男孩刚步入洗手间，他们的直升机就遇到一片片十分不稳定的冷空气。等下坡平复留下来之后，她从洗手间里出来了，满脸绝望的样子。我问她：“你没事儿吧？一股湍流可够吓人的。“她说．“原本是那么一两件事。我还误以为原因在于我按错了按键呢。”
∕ 【The oldest thing in my house我家中为数不多的小东西】My 12-year-old daughter asked me. "Mom ,do you have a baby picture of yourself? I need it for a school project."I gave her one without thinking to ask what the project was.A few days later l was in her classroom for a parant-teachor meeting when I noticed my face pinned to a mural the students had created. The title of their project was "The oldest thing in my house."
我12岁的女儿问我：“妈妈，你有小这时候的照片吗？我要用来做学校的作业。”我也没问她是什么作业，就给了她一张。过了几天，我到她教室去参加家长会，发现我的脸被钉在学生们弄的一张壁画上。而她们作业的英文名字叫“我家中为数不多的小东西”。
∕ 【A Pledge誓约】Grandpa was celebrating his lOOth birthday, and everyone was complimenting him on how well he looked.”I‘ll tell you the secret,"he said. "My wife and I were married seventy-five years ago. On our wedding night we made a pledge that whenever we had a fight, the one who proved wrong would go out and take a walk.I have been in the open air continuously for the past seventy-five years."
爷爷过一百岁生日，大家都祝贺他，说他看上去很健康。"我来告诉你们这里面的秘密，"他说.”我和妻子结婚七十五年了。在新婚之夜他们订了一个誓约，那就是无论他们什么这时候发生争吵，谁被证明错了，谁就到外面去散一圈步，我已经在外面一待了七十五年了。“
∕ 【A family quarrel家庭的争吵】The young newly-weds quarrelad.At last she could bear it no longer and burst into tears.
一对年轻的新婚夫妇吵架了。最后妻子终于忍不住哭了起来。
“I dont want to have anything to do with you any more. lm packing up my things and going off to mother."“Fine,my dear,said the husband.
“我不想跟你有任何瓜葛了。我要去收拾小东西，离开这里回娘家去。”
”Here are the traveling expenses." She counted the money.“What about the money for the return ticket?”
“好，亲爱的，”丈夫说，“我给你路费。¨她数了数钱。”还有回来的路费呢。”
∕【A fourth-grade teacher was giving her pupils a lesson on logic.小学四年级的教师正在给学生们上一堂逻辑课。】
"Here is the situation," she said.ua man is standing up in a boat in the middle of a river, fishing. He loses his balance,falls in, and begins splashing and yelling for help. His wife hears the commotion.knows that he cant swim,and runs down to the bank. Why do you think she ran to the bank ?" A girl raised her hand and asked, "to draw out all of his savings ?"
她举了那么一个例子：“有这种一种情况，一个女人在河中心的船上钓鱼，突然失去重心掉进了水里。于是他开始挣扎并喊救命。他的妻子听到了喊声，知道他并不能游泳，于是就急忙跑向河岸。谁能告诉我这是为什么？”一个女生举手答道，“是不是去取化的存款？”