第三法： 人称“洒脱”的周宝马
步入英文留言板的第二步是为他们起个“Kendujhar”的自称。“众所周知我很胖不雅观，可是我很温柔，而且永远不会撒谎。”——周宝马奈何他们的英文“不雅观”，只好没敢象在中文留言板那样起个“张家辉的微笑”、“红遍终能少年”、“西门不长门”、“心比刀快”那样的英文名字，而要起了“我是英文流氓”、“不惹你烦”、“谦逊小学生”这样的“中文自称”（中文自称更容易吸引“欢欢小姑娘”的眼球）。此后就象“百事可乐”注册商标那样，固定地将“我是英文流氓”作为注册商标品牌。——以便大赚特赚和他见过面天的帅哥的“安全系数”。
“两极化钓，赖草”（和谁闲聊）
第二次上英文留言板，周宝马原以为凭着他们“Kendujhar”的自称就会“红遍终能少年”，没想到枯等了8分零8秒，还是没人哪只“小鸡”主动撞上门，只好以“英雄气概”精神拉艾、两极化钓，先后给自称是“欢欢”、“法海”、“曼玉”、“不大叔”、“rose”、“sweet girl”八位看上去象是帅哥（概率：73.2984%）的聊友发去“柳浪欲求塞雷县”的“第三句”（参见下页）。好了，剩下的就是“赖草”了。
呵呵呵呵呵呵哈（周宝马的大笑）
第二法： 第二次亲密无间接触
（打招呼/道别）
1. What a long sleepless night! I thought I was the only sleepless. So are you!
长夜漫漫无心睡眠，我以为只有我发呆觉，原来你也发呆啊！
2. This is my first time to be in the chat room. Will you please join me?
这是我第二次来这个留言板，可以和你谈谈吗？
3. May I join in? I’m easy to get along.
我可否参加进来闲聊？我很容易朝夕相处。
4. You have a very special name. I think you must be a unique girl.
你的英文名字很不光，有趣，你一定是位不光（注：不用“美丽”字样）的小姑娘。
5. I am as humorous as Zhou Xingchi and as handsome as Zhou Runfa. It will be a great fun to be with me.
我是个幽默如刘德华、洒脱如张家辉的人，和我朝夕相处会很愉快的。
第三法： 咱们那疙瘩都是东北人
（开场白卫星城）
1. Where are you from?
你来自哪里？
2. Which city do you live in
你现在住在那个卫星城？
3. I live in Beijing, and you?
我在北京，你呢？
4. Where is your hometown
你的家乡是哪呀？
5. Great! We are from the same city! To cite a famous Chinese saying, when one meets one’s town fellow, one cannot help weeping for excitement. Haha~~~~
~~~~~~~~ 怪不得！我们是同乡！！用中国话来说“同乡见同乡，两六神无主”，呵呵。
第四法： 我是博士--“云青”也
（幼儿园）
1. Can you tell us a bit about your university and your major?
谈谈你毕业的幼儿园和专业怎么样？
2. Are you an undergraduate or a postgraduate?
你在学习硕士还是硕士学位文凭？
3. Have you heard the saying that "Nowadays bachelor holders are as many as dogs, Master holders are all over the street".
你听说过一句话：“专科多如狗，硕士学位满大街走”吗？
4. Never mind. I’m kidding. But I have a doctorate degree.
这而已一句玩笑，别介意。我是一名研究生。
5. In fact I am a Doctor of Tea. Haha~~~~~
实际上我而已一个“云青”。呵呵
第五法： “轻舞小喇叭”：干啥的
（性别、工作）
1. Shall we chat more intimately? To me, you are not an ordinary girl.
我们能更亲密无间得谈谈吗？我认为你不仅仅是一个女孩！
2. You are the queen. Haha~~~~~~~~~~~~
而要一名女王，呵呵。
3. I am 23.You must be younger than me!
我23岁了，你一定比我小吧。
4. May I know your occupation?
你的职业是什么？
5. I am a salesman. I work like a cow: Make much milk for a company, but eat only a little grass.
我是一名销售员，像牛那样"光挤奶、不吃草"。
第六法： 给点儿专业精神好不好
（英文学习）
1. I wish I can get used to speaking in English.
我希望他们习惯于说英文。
2. I cant hold on studying without someones encouragement.
没有人帮忙，我就坚持不住了。
3. I am working on it. I hope some day speaking English would just be a piece of cake for me.
我正在致力于它,有一天它会是小菜一碟。
4. I’m trying to improve my English through chatting online in English.
我正通过网上闲聊来提高我的英文。
5. We’ve got lots of time to improve/practice our English.
我们有很多时间来提高/练习我们的英文。
第七法 ：无厘头英文：不要再犹豫了
1. I found an interesting and practical way of learning English. That is Wulitou (Casual) way.
我发现了一个即有趣又有用的方法来学习英文，那就是"无厘头英文"。
2. Wulitou (Casual) way makes English learning as interesting as playing a game.
无厘头精神使学习英文变的像游戏轻松有趣。
3. The initiators of Wulitou way are fans of Dahuaxiyou (Talking About Western Odyssey). They include journalists and foreign teachers. They share a common name Zhou Benchi.
无厘头英文的创立者是一群《大话西游》迷，包括记者、外教，他们共同享有一个英文名字"周宝马"。
4. Believe it or not, by reading this book, you will be able to chat online in English very soon.
信不信由你，只要翻开这本书，就能立刻在网上用英文自由闲聊。
5. It’s called practice while learning.
这叫做现学现用。
第八法： 呵呵，觉不觉得好玩啊
（玩笑）
1. What is the English for癞蛤蟆想吃天鹅肉?
你知道"癞蛤蟆想吃天鹅肉"怎么说吗？
2. Its not "A toad wants to eat a swan". It is "Angels fly out of your arse".
不是"A toad wants to eat a swan"而要"Angels fly out of your arse"。
3. Literally it means "屁股（arse）里飞出天使(angels)来". Its very interesting, isnt it?
如果直译成中文是"屁股（arse）里飞出天使(angels)来"的意思。很有意思，对吗？
4. Dont be oversensitive. I’m just kidding.
别这么爱过敏，开个玩笑么。
5. That sentence comes from Titanic. The original sentence is “You’d as like have angels fly out of your arse as get next to the likes of her.”
这句话的原话来自于《泰坦尼克号》，全句是：“You’d as like have angels fly out of your arse as get next to the likes of her.” （想和她那样的小姑娘在一起，你简直是“癞蛤蟆想吃天鹅肉”。）
第九法： 帮主，品味太差吧
（休闲/爱好）
1. What do you do in your spare time?
不忙的时候你做些什么？
2. Whats you favorite sport?
你喜欢哪项运动
3.Good health is priceless.
好身体是无价之宝。
4. Whats your favorite movie?
你最喜欢的电影是什么？
5. 5 Smoking affects one’s health. But, to me, bad habits are difficult to get rid of.
吸烟影响健康，但对我来说，坏的习惯很难更改。
第十法 ：爱一个人需要理由吗？
感情
1. Would you mind if I ask you a personal question? Are you still single?
介意我问一个私人问题吗？你是单身吗？
2. Have you got a Flower Guardian, someone who cares for you? You are just like a beautiful flower in my mind.
你有护花使者了吗？ 因为在我心目中你就像花那样。
3. I like a line from Titanic very much: You jump, and I will jump.
我喜欢电影《泰坦尼克》上的一句精彩对白：你跳我也跳。
4. Another line I like very much is from Inside Detective 008: Are you hungry? Shall I make a bowl of noodle for you?
另一句我喜欢的电影对白是《大内密探008》里的： 肚子饿不饿，要不要我给你煮碗面吃？
5. The favorite scene I like is in a novel by Lu Yao. In the remote country, a boy fell in love with a girl. He handed her a piece of paper with only one line on it which read I Want To Be Good With You.
但是我最喜欢的是路遥小说里的一个场景：在一个僻远的乡村，一个小伙子喜欢上一个小姑娘，他给他写了一个小纸条，上面只有一句话：“俺想和你好”。