首篇【微积分没不及格Flunking Math】
我女儿是印第安纳市曼诺特波华盛顿理工学院的小学生，理工学院三年级就上了学院院长的成员名单。第三年他学社会学，刚几个小时他就给家中发狠电话号码。
“爸爸，”他兴奋地说：“我找出了如何在理工学院里存活下来的标准答案!重要的不是平均分，而是具有将教给的科学知识应用于现实生活的素养。我很幸运有了这种美妙的历经。”
“你究竟是甚么原意？”我反问。
“我微积分没不及格。”他回答说。
My son, who made the deans list in his freshman year at Ball State University in Muncie, Ind., called home a few weeks after starting his sophomore year as a psychology student.
“Mom,” he said excitely, “I have found the answer to surviving college! It isnt the grades that are so important, but the quality of what is learned and how it is applied to daily life. Im lucky to be having these wonderful experiences!”
“And just what does this mean?” I asked.
“Im flunking math,” he replied.
第二卷【大军服Large Uniforms】
在圣路易的利维兰海军基地的头四天，他们被从两个地方性赶往另两个地方性去剪发、摄像、领军服。回到兵营之后，体能训练教导员让他们穿上军服，在兵营前原位退出。但是，我些军服特别大。他们仪仗队的时候，上尉和他的继任者就站在外边。“他们得将一些人弄回来重新量呵呵，”他说，“最后这个人走了三步，他的军服才动。”
During our first three days at Lackland Air Force Base in San Antonio, we were herded from place to place for haircuts, shots and uniforms. Back in our barracks, the drill instructor told us to put on our uniforms and fall out in front of the building. Some of the uniforms, however, were extremely large. As we filed outside, the sergeant stood by the door with his assistant. "We have to take some of these people back for refitting," he said. "That last man took two steps before his uniform moved." 第二篇【谁想去伊甸园Who want to go to heaven】神父非常恼怒，因为浑然不觉两个人在他嘲弄时整夜。
两个小时四，唯有坐在第二排的这个人又在利莫尼时，神父决定要回来基础教育他呵呵，让他不要再在传道时睡。于是他大声对教徒们说：“想去伊甸园的人，都请站出来吧。”所有的人都站了出来——当然，除了这个整夜的人。在大声说过请坐后，神父大声大喊：“想去下冥界的人请站出来！”
整夜的人被这突然的狂吼叫醒了，他站了出来。看到神父高站在优秀教师上，正恼怒的看着他。这个人说道：“噢，先生，我不知道他们在选甚么，但看起来只有你和我是参选人。”
The preacher was vexed（恼怒的） because a certain member of his congregation（子集，家庭聚会）always fell asleep during the sermon.
As the man was snoring in the front row one Sunday, the preacher determined he would teach him not to sleep during the sermon. So, in a whisper, he asked the congregation. “All who want to go to heaven, please rise.” Everyone got up except the snorer. After whispering “Be seated”, the minister shouted at the top of his voiced, “All those who want to be with the devil, please rise.”
Awaking with a start , the sleepy-head jumped to his feet and saw the preacher standing tall and angry in the pulpit（讲道坛）, “Well, sir,” he said, “I dont know what were voting on, but it looks like you and me are the only ones for it.”